“that guy in the hat could get it”
that quote is the epitome of what you just threw a friendship away over. and don’t think that this is just forgiveable. because its not. it doesnt matter how many 3am conversations we had about how we couldn’t comprehend the universe.. when we were really just trying to say we couldn’t understand ourselves or what was happening to us. or all the pointless drives while we poured our hearts out, hoping that the scars would magically disappear and we would be fixed. our the trips to the diner that we laid our fears out on the table while we sipped on milkshakes and ate cheese fries. because all it takes is one shitty move to ruin all of that… and thats what happened. it was never a choice you had to make between two people. —which by the way, either you lied to me or you’re lying to her… mr. no,-i-don’t-love-her-at-all-and-know-this-won’t-last-and-she’s-just-a-mistake-i-can’t-stop-making-but-here’s-a-poem-about-how-much-i-love-her — all you had to do was defend our friendship. a friendship that i THOUGHT was meaningful and deep and important. i trusted you with my life. i always remained candid with you, even when i did stupid things, i never tried to sugarcoat it with you because i knew that you would never judge me and would always be honest and love me no matter what. apparently, i don’t deserve to be told the truth, our friendship meant shit to you, and all of our fucking 3am talks and pointless drives and diner dates didn’t deserve to be defended.
"Extreme situations don’t change us, they reveal us. But the worst is when we can’t even see what we’ve allowed ourselves to become - or rather, we can’t see what parts of ourselves we’ve allowed to grow out of control. It can happen to anyone."
- Jay-Z (via ahorton92)
(Source: quote-book)
i kind of feel like crying. and i want to say that i just dont care, but i do. obviously. whatever. i was taught at a very young age that nothing comes easy & sometimes, certain things just never come at all. and a couple years later i learned that people leave. they just walk out. you can go from being someone’s world to literally nothing in the matter of a couple seconds. and it hurts and your eyes sting worse than when you get shampoo in them. and sometimes, it the stinging goes away quickly but some things will sting you forever. i’ve been sitting here trying to narrow it down to a single emotion. angry. sad. exhausted. disappointed. but i’m hurt. for the first time in a long time, im hurt. i don’t want to talk about it anymore. but just know that sometimes it isn’t love that breaks your heart… sometimes, its your friends.
